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Why Online Dating Sucks & the Need to Unplug

Online dating, in its simplest form, is a way of meeting people through the internet. The potential to meet a stranger and fall in love (or at least go on a few dates) is just one click away. I mean, how can you argue with that? Right? Well, online dating can be superficial. You may be wondering what does that mean exactly; let me explain it to you:

You’re not meeting face-to-face or getting to know each other as human beings who have thoughts and feelings outside of your visual attraction for them. Online dating has become more about looks than actual compatibility and finding an authentic connection with someone based on shared interests and common values.

In this blog, I shall tell you about the reason why online dating sucks (at times) and why there is a need to unplug. Continue reading.

Why Online Dating Sucks & the Need to Unplug?

Let me paint a scenario that might be familiar. You’ve been seeing this one really good guy or girl for a while and they act like they are really into you, but then there is one issue, you are not sure if they are taking you seriously at all. As much as you want to believe them when they say that they really like you and that things will progress, you aren’t so sure. Yeah, yeah, I’m definitely talking about that person who popped into your mind after reading this.

Then a couple of months ago, he (or she) popped the question… well not really THE question but the online dating version of it: “So, do you think we should just be exclusive?”

You pause to figure out what to say back because at first, it sounded good, but then again maybe he or she doesn’t see anything long-term here and doesn’t want to waste time with someone else.

Decisions, decisions… you can’t decide…

Your gut says yes and your head says no, which has left you utterly confused. Suddenly you find yourself with a thousand thoughts rushing through your mind regarding this person and the dynamic of your relationship (or non-relationship). “Am I being played?” “Is my gut right?” “Do I continue to pursue something with him/her or do I walk away?” These are all questions we have asked ourselves when dealing with someone who we can’t quite figure out.

Online dating is a difficult thing to do, especially if you aren’t sure how to approach it from the start. 

You’ve heard all the horror stories: People who say they are single and are actually married; people who lie about their age or ethnicity; men or women who would love to meet up one night, but somehow always seem to have an excuse not to. It seems like every few months there is another instance of someone having heartbroken because of an online relationship gone wrong.

The fact of the matter is that it can be hard to know what type of person you are really getting into when you first meet them through the internet. Sure, they’ve told you enough good things that make you think they’re genuine and interesting (or at least they appear so), but then after only a few dates, you start asking yourself if this person is really for you. And if we’re honest with ourselves, some of us even find ourselves going through the motions with someone else simply because we don’t want to become single again! We can see this happening in our friends and coworkers as well as online.

While there will always be people in our lives who leave us questioning how they feel about us, there is one way to find out without having to waste your time; unplug from online dating!

If you take a break and use the time to focus on your own personal needs, you’ll ultimately gain the clarity you need to figure out if online dating really is for you. 

Not only that, but it’s important to remember that online dating isn’t the end all be all. There are real people in the real world that you may not have met yet! So go outside, explore new local hangouts or pick up a new hobby and meet like-minded singles doing something fun and interesting!

what are some negative things that can happen when you’re dating online?

Some of the negative things that can happen when you’re dating online are:

  • Losing your identity: While swiping right and left, it can be easy to lose sight of what you are looking for in a partner. Then we start to think that there is something wrong with us. It’s easy to feel inadequate when faced with so many beautiful, seemingly perfect possible partners. When this happens, it’s time to take a break and remind yourself of your own amazing qualities!
  • Losing confidence: This leads to all kinds of other problems in our lives – at work, with friends, etc. It’s important to remember that not every date will lead to a relationship, but that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or them.

It sucks when you engage in “ghosting” or are being ghosted

Ghosting is when someone you meet in person, through a date or otherwise, cuts off communication with you and disappears from your life completely. It’s part of the perils of online dating, an experience that can feel like an exercise in building a relationship out of scattered e-mails and phone calls. While ghosting may not seem like much, it can be unsettling for many people to suddenly get cut off by a person they’ve been flirting with on social media or texting regularly—and it can be especially tough if the breakup happens after a date or hookup (this is why it’s called “ghosting”).

The overwhelming majority of people who ghost are straight men and women with no prior romantic history; they often don’t even know each other well enough to have chatted on a normal level beforehand. But ghosting doesn’t just happen to those who don’t know what they’re doing—it often happens to quite sophisticated daters as well. If there’s one thing we’ve learned about online dating sites over the past decade, it’s that everyone wants something different from them—from getting laid to finding soulmates to being bored out of their minds. 

Those looking for casual hookups may find themselves hoping that their dates are actually interested in investing time into them romantically (after all, this can help weed out creeps more easily). On the other hand, those seeking long-term partners might expect matchmakers or daters to put their best effort into making sure both parties are on board with the relationships going forward.

Ultimately, the problems caused by ghosting are ones that most people wouldn’t even think twice about before jumping into the virtual dating pool—the hurt feelings and long-term mental health consequences should speak for themselves.

If a single person meets someone in person, they might not have the opportunity to reject them based on looks!

While it’s true that you can’t always judge a book by its cover, an in-person approach helps to prevent that from happening. In other words, when you meet someone in person, you don’t get the chance to reject them based solely on what they look like. This is because the only way for someone to go out with you is if they agree to do so after having met you face-to-face. Due to the nature of online dating, many people are able to instantaneously decide that they aren’t interested in someone without giving them a fair chance first.

All of this isn’t to say that there aren’t some good things about online dating. It certainly has its perks: it allows busy people who otherwise might not have as much time for socializing with others the opportunity to search for potential partners at their leisure; it allows shy people who would normally be too nervous and anxious to even think about approaching new people in person a chance at meeting new love interests, and it allows women who may feel uncomfortable or unsafe about being approached by men at bars and clubs some degree of control over how their interactions with men begin by allowing them message men first instead of vice versa.

Online dating sucks, but as a society, we need to unplug from our screens more.

Everyone is on dating apps these days. And while this makes it easier to meet people, it also comes with some heavy downsides: The rise in screen time has led to a rise in FOMO (fear of missing out), and a shorter attention span for relationships. In fact, a study by the University of Chicago showed that one-third of marriages now start online, but the divorce rate has also risen by 40% since we started using computers to find our soulmates.

The bottom line: This isn’t just a western country phenomenon — everyone everywhere wants love online and on their phones. But while looking for dates online can sometimes result in true love, it can often be a time sink or even detrimental to our chances of finding the perfect match. It’s time we all took a step back from swiping left and right and look up at the sky for once before online dating takes over our lives!

About the Author

Sasha Aun
Sasha Aun
Hi, I am Sasha, a professional relationship expert, and a blogger. At Datinghelpguide, I write tips to create an attractive dating profile and guides on managing dating profiles on multiple apps.