Rejection stings for a reason, and it’s not because you’re weak or overly sensitive. There’s a biological cause for our desperate need for others to accept us. Our reactions to rejection are also influenced by our attachment patterns. People who have a secure attachment style develop when they engage with their caregivers in a healthy way as newborns.
When you allow rejection to hold you back in this way, it can have a negative impact on every aspect of your life. There are strategies for dealing with rejection that might help you emerge stronger. Rejection doesn’t have to be the be-all and end-all; in fact, it can be beneficial in the long term.
How you feel about the rejection will be determined by what you tell yourself about why you were rejected. Because you’ve convinced yourself that the rejection isn’t about you, you won’t be depressed or upset. Getting outraged because he/she rejected you is equivalent to taking it personally when you are denied access to eat the chocolate kept in the kitchen for your sibling who isn’t returning home for a week. We all have gone through this.
In this article, I will tell you some ways how you can overcome rejection.
What Should You Do After eHarmony Rejection?
Rejections aren’t always as personal as they appear. eHarmony rejection simply implies that a stranger made a hasty decision in less than 20 seconds. However, if you used to be a part of the office happy hour gang and your after-work beverages have mysteriously vanished, it’s time to reconsider your position.
The following are some things you can do to overcome rejection:
- Journaling: Make a list of the positive attributes that others have praised you for. The more you remind yourself of your great attributes, the faster you’ll get over your disappointment. It is a good method to keep track of how you’re feeling. It’s important to remember that feeling like you shouldn’t feel a specific way of being caught in one mood is never useful. It’s critical to remain grounded and open. Also, consider the places you were wrong and improve yourself.
- Spend time with friends and family: if you’re feeling rejected remind yourself that you’re not alone. If you are unable to be with a loved one at this time, try to think of someone who is significant in your life. Or perhaps simply consider them.
- Don’t be hard on yourself: If you’re rejected, don’t blame yourself for what went wrong. Instead, consider whether you can learn anything from the experience. And, according to psychotherapist Alan Gottlieb, look at it with compassion for yourself.
- Don’t let it break you: If there’s one thing you should take away from rejection, it’s that you should never allow it to prevent you from pursuing your goals in the future. Every successful person has gone through it at some point. So the next time you’re turned down for a date or don’t get that job, remember that rejection is something that everyone experiences.
- Find out your qualities: In the case of rejection, self-affirmations might make you feel more assured. Writing a list of your talents and values is a good idea. Begin each day by reading these affirmations aloud to yourself. It will assist you in determining who you are and how you identify yourself.
- Do self-care: jogging, meditating or doing anything else that makes you happy and helps you relax is a good way to ease your heart.
What are the reasons for rejection on eHarmony?
eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. Their matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. So some reasons which are obvious for you being rejected on eHarmony are as follows:
- You are underaged: If you are under the age of 21, bear in mind that eHarmony is primarily interested in forming marriages. This could be the ideal website for you if you are young and desperate for marriage.
- You aren’t straight: If you want to join eHarmony as a gay or lesbian, you will be refused. This website’s terms and conditions are strange enough that they were actually sued over it. As part of the statement, a new service known as Compatible Partners has been launched.
- You lied: Try being honest in your questionnaire form as much as you can.
The bottom line
According to founder Neil Clark Warren, eHarmony matches atheists, agnostics, and even Wiccans. 27 per cent of applicants are under the age of 21, and 9 per cent of those who completed the 258-question application submitted “inconsistent responses.” Other causes for rejection include getting married more than four times before reaching the age of 60.
The most essential thing is to ask yourself, “Is there anything I can learn from this experience?” rather than sitting in rejection. Then what can I do in the future?
I hope this was helpful.