Cheating is a horrible thing to experience. You’ve let someone into your life and trusted them, and now that trust has been broken. It’s heartbreaking and disorienting to think about the future, and moving on from that betrayal can be hard.
Breakups are hard, but if you suspect your partner is cheating on you? That’s just the worst.
So what do you do? How can you know if your partner is cheating on you? We’re here to tell you that there are signs of a cheater, and we’re going to break them down for you right now. Here’s how to know if your partner is cheating on you. Continue reading.
Signs of a Cheater
You will often notice these telltale signs when your partner is hooking up with someone else. These are typically not the signs of a cheater who is bad in bed. Most of the time, it’s a sign that your partner has broken up with you and is trying to drag out the dissolution process as long as possible.
- The person stops answering calls or texts from you and stops visiting your house (this could be a way to avoid conflict while they’re cheating)
- The person doesn’t understand when you told them that they can’t take certain things from your house (this could be because they took something)
- They spend more time on social media than talking about their personal life
- They are dressing up often.
- Your partner sometimes seems very angry but never reveals why or what happened.
- He/she starts to smile anytime without a reason. But change their expression when they see you.
- Is often distant and distracted.
- They ask other people for advice on how to handle situations in which they have been cheated on.
- Their habits and schedule are changed.
How to Know If Your Partner is Cheating on You?
Now that we’ve explored the many ways to spot a cheater, you might be wondering how to know if your partner is cheating on you specifically. While it’s never fun to suspect your partner of doing something wrong, it’s better to know sooner rather than later—and there are several ways you can begin investigating, of which, here are two:
- Be open and honest with them. If you notice any of the signs we discussed in this article, bring up the subject casually. See how they react and what they say—but do so calmly and collectedly. If they admit their wrongdoing (or even just get defensive), don’t confront them about it right away. Gather more evidence first and ensure that what you’re feeling is suspicion and not just jealousy or general distrust in your relationship.
- Turn detective online. Check out their social media accounts (if they have one) for suspicious behavior such as posting pictures with someone else more frequently or suddenly disappearing from their normal online activity for several days at a time (particularly when done repeatedly). You could also cross-check their accounts against phone records if possible: does their significant other call them between 1 AM and 3 AM consistently? Are there strange outgoing calls? These could indicate an affair—but could also be nothing at all! Always remember that circumstantial evidence doesn’t always mean anything is going on, so don’t jump to conclusions just because everything seems fishy.
Is your partner cheating on you?
When it comes to infidelity, there’s no perfect way to know if your partner is cheating. But if you’re worried that someone may be untrustworthy, there are a few things you can do to investigate.
Identify any changes in their behavior. If your partner is stepping out on you, they’re going to work hard to cover their tracks and avoid getting caught. So if you notice major changes in their behavior—like them suddenly working late all the time or being secretive about where they go when they leave the house—that could be a sign that something is up. They may also become more critical of you and your relationship because they want an excuse to spend more time away from home.
Look for signs that they’re making an effort to look good. If your partner dresses up or wears extra makeup or cologne all the time, that could be a sign that they’re trying to impress someone else. Of course, this isn’t always a bad thing—a little extra effort can be a sign of self-care and self-confidence! But if it’s coupled with other suspicious behavior, it might mean that your partner is trying to attract someone new.
What to do when I know I am being cheated on?
When you suspect your partner is cheating, the best thing to do is find out for sure. There’s no need to worry about what-ifs and try to justify things in your mind. If you suspect your partner is cheating, ask them about it. Tell them what you suspect, and let them know that you want the truth—it’s better than waiting around wondering all the time.
If they are cheating on you, don’t let yourself feel guilty or afraid of ending things if that’s what you want to do. But don’t feel like you have to end things just because they cheated either—that decision is up to you! Every relationship situation is different and only you can decide whether or not it’s right for you to stay with someone who has cheated on you, whether it was once or more often than that.
Most importantly: be kind to yourself during this time! Whether or not they are cheating, this isn’t an easy thing to go through so support yourself however possible: talk with a friend, set aside some alone time for self-care, etc.
How to confront your partner about cheating?
While you might be angry about the cheating and tempted to approach your partner with a list of grievances, instead you should give them a chance to speak. You don’t want to get into this fight with accusations and shouting, but rather calmly ask them what’s going on.
When you confront them, try not to accuse or blame them. Rather than saying “You are cheating on me!” consider saying something like “I think there is something going on between you and [so-and-so]. I’m worried that we aren’t as close as we used to be.”
Listen carefully as they respond. Perhaps they will say nothing is happening between them, but if they do admit something is going on, do not immediately react in anger. Instead, try asking how they plan to address it – perhaps by ending it? Have an open discussion about what comes next for both of you if the relationship stays or ends.
It’s important that both parties are honest from here forward; talk about what actions need to be taken so trust can be restored in the relationship. If your partner is willing to take steps toward healing the relationship (by completely cutting off contact with the other person), then consider working through the problem together. However, if your partner doesn’t want a commitment (or doesn’t seem like they’re ready for one), then end things before it becomes emotionally harder for either of you later down the line
Remember, the relationship is not one-sided
If you are uncomfortable with confronting your partner, consider bringing a trusted friend along to help get the conversation started. When you do confront your partner, start by sharing what you have observed and what has led you to believe they may be cheating.
For example, “I noticed that we have been spending less time together and I have seen a new number on our phone bill that I do not recognize.” Do not accuse them of cheating or make assumptions about the relationship. Instead, give them an opportunity to explain why their behavior has changed.
Hopefully, these tips will help guide the conversation, but remember, communication is key in any relationship and there is no perfect formula for how this should be handled. If you find suspicion or gut instinct telling you something is wrong talk about it! Don’t wait for them to come on track, this way you will end up disrespecting yourself.