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Inside The World Of Dating As A Jehovah’s Witness

Was your first date awkward? Hi5 buddy! But you know what, there are few things more awkward than a first date. For example, you’re on a date and it’s going poorly—there’s food stuck on his/her face, and you can’t say it because it’s on your date’s nostrils! Or perhaps the person sitting across from you is fidgety and nasty. Either way, it doesn’t feel good…

It’s never easy to know exactly what to say on the first date, but it can be even harder if you have an illness that affects your lifestyle—especially one that isn’t completely understood by the public. Having a mental illness doesn’t mean you can’t live happily ever after; however, when dating someone with a mental illness, there may be times when you don’t know what to say or how to support your partner. But there are some basic tips that could help make your relationship better and healthier for both of you! (check my other blogs for this)

In this blog, we shall know every little detail about the JW dating world and surely you would make out how JW world dating is different from typical dating. Let’s begin our dive!

Inside The World Of Dating As A Jehovah’s Witness

So, if you are diving into the dating world then it will (at least for a brief period) be awkward, and for Jehovah’s Witnesses, it’s even more awkward. It’s funny, because it’s like, well if they’re not allowed to date, how do they fall in love? They meet and then what happens? Do they just get married the first night? How does that work?

As Jehovah’s Witness, followers have faced unique dating challenges. Family is held in high esteem as well. “There are all these people I can’t even talk to,” a follower said to me. “They’re out there. And I’m sitting here alone. It’s awkward to break up with someone you’re not dating. And it’s even more awkward when you know you’ll see them the next day at church or work.”

As of 2015, there were nearly 8 million Jehovah’s Witnesses in 240 countries worldwide.

As of 2015, there were nearly 8 million Jehovah’s Witnesses in 240 countries worldwide. The Watchtower says this data is the most accurate accounting to date, but Holly F. estimates there are twice as many—1.8 billion—based on how frequently her mission team knocked on doors. (The Watchtower says door-to-door visitation has been reduced because of “shortages in human resources” and technological advances.)

Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that the Bible expects them to respect marriage, and they also believe in instilling this and other principles within their children. Holly’s classmates growing up were like her brothers and sisters, and when it came time for dating, the family jokes seemed endless.

Dating is forbidden!

According to JWfacts.com, dating is not only discouraged but forbidden by church elders within the community. As a member of the Jehovah’s Witness faith, you’re not allowed to date anyone outside of your religion, and as most people know, finding someone who shares your religious beliefs isn’t always easy.

For example, you’re not allowed to be alone together as a couple; you need a chaperone with you at all times (generally another woman). The same goes for any sexual activity before marriage.

Both male and female members are required to follow these rules or face serious penalties from their church elders.

If an elder catches two people alone together in the hallway and he doesn’t know if they’ve broken any rules, he’ll tell them that they shouldn’t be alone together. Yes! that’s true…

Even though they want to date, they know that they can’t just go out with anyone who claims to be a Witness.

Even though they want to date, Jehovah’s Witnesses know that dating people who are not of their religion can put a strain on their faith. That is why it is important to only date fellow Jehovah’s Witnesses. But even fellow believers can be tricky to date in some cases.

For example, if you’re a Jehovah’s Witness and a person knows you can’t have sex before marriage, he or she might try to take advantage of this limitation or use your “purity” as a way to take advantage of you in other ways. In short: Don’t let someone who is not a Jehovah’s Witness make choices for you regarding your future with them.

But before you get too jealous that these young lovebirds found each other among the 30 million people on Match.com, remember that Stevie was only searching for people who believed as she did. As a Jehovah’s Witness, she can’t date outside the faith and can only marry another Witness. Dating within the religion is not popular with many Jehovah’s Witnesses, and it’s not encouraged.

So why would they sign up on a dating site in the first place?

Well, it might be because of their witness parents’ strict rules about dating and marriage. For instance, it’s really important to them that they marry another Witness, so using an online service where they’re able to search through profiles by religious affiliation would be an obvious way to make sure they stick with their own type.

It also makes sense that they might want to meet someone who doesn’t know them or their families—someone more neutral​ than a co-worker or friend of the family—because the relationship could end up becoming serious very quickly in such a close-knit community.

Dating is harder for Jehovah’s Witnesses

While dating is hard for anyone, it can be especially difficult when you’re a Jehovah’s Witness. While most religions allow their members to date people outside of the faith, Witness leaders discourage these types of relationships.

Because they are generally not allowed to date outside the group, they often are paired up with other Jehovah’s Witnesses in arranged marriages. Because of this, many couples find themselves being pushed into marriage long before they’re ready.

For young Jehovah’s Witnesses who choose to leave, there can be serious consequences for families and friends who still follow the religion. But many who have left say that it is worth it because of how much freedom there is outside of the church and its strict rules.

If you’re dating then you should be able to discuss it with your partner the same way you would any other subject.

But like any conversation, it’s important to have an honest discussion in a safe environment.

This will help you and your date feel safer when talking about the things that you’re passionate about—and perhaps even controversial or sensitive topics like your religion. It could also make it easier for you to come out to friends and family members as a JW, as well as introduce them to your partner without them feeling uncomfortable or alienated by the topic of religion.

If you feel like something is wrong (like you’ve been lied to), then speak up. If someone else seems suspicious of what they are saying, then do some investigating on their own time so that they won’t be able to take advantage of you later on down the road. This can be done by asking other people who know him/her better than yourself about them first before making any final decisions about whether or not he/she would be a good match for yourself.

Dating as a Jehovah’s Witness can be complicated and scary, but there are ways to make it easier on yourself.

I am not saying that being a Jehovah’s Witness puts you in an impossible situation, but it’s certainly not easy. Dating as a Jehovah’s Witness can be complicated and scary, but there are ways to make it easier on yourself… they are as follows:

  • Talk about it with your partner. There are many misconceptions that go along with the lifestyle of being a Jehovah’s Witness and the word “Jehovah.” If you’re dating someone who is a Jehovah’s Witness, educate him or she on what being a Jehovah’s Witness is really like. Don’t assume anything! You can get help from other friends or family members who have been there before or are currently going through the process themselves.
  • Get advice from others who have been there before or are currently going through the process themselves. Talk to them face-to-face if you can, but don’t hesitate to e-mail them too if necessary! This will give you another person who has experienced this situation and will share their experience with you. Plus, sometimes what seems like just words make all of the difference in how people feel about your life choices; so even though this may be something where you have to try new things out for yourself, remember that more people go through similar struggles in real life than we would realize until we talk to someone else first!
  • Try to find a middle ground that works for everyone involved. As mentioned before, some JW people simply won’t date outside of their religion because they believe dating outside of their faith might lead them down the wrong path. It may seem hard at first when trying to understand why they think this way, but try harder not to judge them! Most likely they’ve thought these things over and come up with decisions based on their conscience while choosing, either way, they wish they could see fit without causing harm (and since no one can tell anyone what his/her conscience should be telling him/her). All that said, although deciding which path is right for each person

What if you meet the love of your life and fall in love but realize that this person isn’t a Jehovah’s Witness?

As a young adult, you are able to make your own choices. As long as you abide by the rules of your parents, or the governing body of Jehovah’s Witnesses, you can date whoever you want.

Of course, there are rules to dating and that’s what makes it difficult. So before dating a non-believer, ask yourself: What if I meet the love of my life? What if I fall in love with this person? Will we be able to continue seeing each other? Will our relationship be allowed? The answer is yes!

However, every time you introduce this person to your friends or family…watch out! That person will always be scrutinized by others and compared to all the other Jehovah’s Witnesses they know. You may find yourself in an awkward situation when bringing them around other people who follow Jehovah.

Frequently asked questions

Why don’t JW talk?

Jehovah’s Witnesses are advised to keep to themselves and avoid interacting with non-believers. As a result, they form exceptionally close ties with other members of the church. Unfortunately for my family, few people thought we’d make good friends, and we were very lonely. At school, I began to make non-believing or ‘worldly’ friends, which made other Jehovah’s Witnesses hesitant of associating with me.

Is it possible for Jehovah’s Witnesses to date outside of their religion?

People should only date fellow Jehovah’s witnesses, according to the website’s regulations. It is not recommended to date outside of the faith; in fact, it is outlawed in certain families, though not all. To the church, dating someone in secret is deemed a lie.

What is the objective of the Jehovah’s Witness organization?

They view their mission as largely evangelical, with the goal of warning as many people as possible before Armageddon. Everyone in the denomination is expected to participate actively in preaching. Witnesses refer to their entire set of ideas as “the Truth.”

What are the limitations of Jehovah’s Witnesses?

Christmas, Easter, and birthdays are not observed by Jehovah’s Witnesses because they think they have pagan origins. They refuse to salute the flag or sing the national song, and they refuse to serve in the military. They also decline life-saving blood transfusions.

What does JW say about not celebrating birthdays?

“We do not celebrate birthdays because we feel that such celebrations displease God,” said a practicing Jehovah’s Witness. According to a FAQ on the official website of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, “the Bible does not specifically condemn celebrating birthdays,” the argument is based on biblical beliefs.

The Bottom line

Talking about the dating world: If you do get into a relationship with someone outside of the faith make sure that both parties understand and respect each other’s beliefs. And if things start getting serious just question one thing: “What do YOU want out of this relationship?”

I hope I have covered all the questions related to dating as a JW. Lastly, I would say that, before you enter into this, remember, you can’t undo it; it’s going to be a lifelong commitment.

About the Author

Sasha Aun
Sasha Aun
Hi, I am Sasha, a professional relationship expert, and a blogger. At Datinghelpguide, I write tips to create an attractive dating profile and guides on managing dating profiles on multiple apps.