How to talk to girls – from a girl’s point of view – Zoosk

I have a few online male friends who alwayyyyyyssss ping me and ask, “Yaarrr help me, she’s not responding to me now” and I am like, “you already messed up your first impression by asking those overly used typical questions”.

I have no male friends in real life just because of the fact that boys are just too much cheesy or let me just accept I am that kinda girl who has high standards. I know it is difficult to talk with my kind of female… but there’s always a way out.

In this blog, I will tell you how WE GIRLS want you guys to talk to us. We too want to date, be in a relationship but usually, men end up ruining the very first talk which forces us to IGNORE them.

Before I get to the main thing, let me tell you where things go wrong.

Where do you go wrong when talking to a girl?

I don’t know what it is with guys, they start overdoing things or act as if they don’t give a damn. Why can’t guys just be neutral? 

Following are the 7 things girls hate: 

  1. Being overly polite
  2. Being overly courteous
  3. Being arrogant
  4. Being cold
  5. Trying to flirt (in every statement)
  6. Trying to sound witty
  7. Attempting to stand out in a crowd

The majority of guys make the mistake of attempting to qualify themselves in front of a girl. It’s an unappealing mentality because it elevates her. You’ll feel more comfortable chatting to her if you focus on determining if she’s worthy of your standards.

Simply be friendly and treat the girl as you would everyone else. 

You can start thinking about that girl as a potential girlfriend later on, once you’ve established that you have chemistry. But most of the guys start to think about it even before they talk for once and girls can sense that. Do not ask me how, it just happens…there is no explanation for it.

How to know if a girl likes you?

Girls are more of an impulsive humans, their little gestures are the answer to everything they feel about you. If the girl is doing most or all of the below mentioned then she indeed likes you.

  1. Even if your jokes are poor, she laughs at them.
  2. She takes out time for a video call or a call with you no matter how hectic her schedule is.
  3. She has added you to her social media accounts and enjoys your posts.
  4. She told you she likes you.
  5. She informed everyone about you, including her friends and relatives.
  6. She’s taunting you in a fun or flirtatious way.
  7. she’s keeping her gaze on you for longer than usual.
  8. She seems extra shy when you’re with her.
  9. She pays more attention to you than the others.
  10. When you’re with her, she touches you when you’re talking. (hold your arm, stay close to you, lean on your shoulder)

How to talk to a girl?

  1. To express interest, you don’t need to do something lavish or dramatic. Simply smile at her if you are meeting in person. If you already know the girl, don’t try too hard to win her over; instead, approach her with a simple HI! Over text or face-to-face.
  2. If you’re meeting a girl for the first time, don’t be shy. Simply say hello and be sure to provide her name. Pretend you’re standing next to your sister while talking to her so you don’t say anything off-putting that might make a girl uncomfortable.
  3. Relax and let this girl see you for who you truly are. Make her laugh if you’re a wacky, hilarious guy. If she’s more serious, talk to her about relevant things that aren’t too serious. Try to bring up topics that she could be interested in.
  4. Smiling at critical points in a discussion can help the female relax and feel like you care about what she has to say. Obviously, don’t smile the entire time or you’ll appear uneasy or even constipated! Laugh if she says anything amusing.
  5. Choosing light topics to begin with does not imply that you must choose things that are dull. Even the tiniest gestures of affection can brighten their day. You can hold back a little less if the girl begins to open up to you and truly trusts you.
  6. Don’t worry if you don’t have anything in common with this girl. Make an effort to lead the conversation into a topic that both of you are interested in. (you can check out our other blogs and get some good conversation starter questions).
  7. You don’t have to frighten her out by staring into her eyes like you’re looking for your own reflection. Make a point of giving her your undivided attention and not looking down at your phone or scanning the crowd for someone more interesting.
  8. Girls like guys who pay attention to them and are interested in what they have to say. Allow her to speak and share her opinions with you without interrupting her. When she says something, make sure you answer and demonstrate that you’re paying attention by rephrasing it.
  9. Girls prefer men who make them laugh. Don’t be hesitant to show off your wit and humour. Just don’t start off by being overly filthy or inappropriate. Demonstrate to her that you can respond with a hilarious remark or laugh along with her.
  10. It’s more trouble than it’s worth lying to impress a girl. In any case, you shouldn’t be putting on a show whenever you see her. If you want her to like you, she has to accept you for who you are right from the start.
  11. Tip: Some girls are content to see you once or twice a week. Others aren’t going to leave you alone, and it doesn’t imply they don’t care. Don’t approach her from the side or upfront if you don’t want to intimidate her. Don’t take it personally; finish the discussion and move on.

The bottom line

Never compare her to other girls, especially her friends, and never talk about other girls in front of her. Do not force a conversation with her that she clearly does not want to have. If she’s upset with you or doesn’t want to discuss, leave her alone and move on.

Simply strike up a conversation about something that both you and her are interested in. Make her feel unique by truly complementing her and displaying interest in her opinions. It may appear frightening at first, but with a little practice, you should be able to converse with almost any girl without breaking a sweat.

Wishing you luck.

About the Author

Sasha Aun
Sasha Aun
Hi, I am Sasha, a professional relationship expert, and a blogger. At Datinghelpguide, I write tips to create an attractive dating profile and guides on managing dating profiles on multiple apps.
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