Lets Find out How To Have A Conversation On A Dating App (Hint: It’s Not That Hard)
When was the last time you had a great conversation with your match? Can’t remember? Or is it that you didn’t have one yet!
If you want to build deeper relationships on dating apps, you’ll need to put in a little more effort and go over the sophisticated “How are you?” texts. Asking sensible questions right away might help you figure out if someone you meet on a dating app is worth following up with and could be a real-life match.
In today’s blog, I will tell you how you can have a better conversation on a dating app. Whether you’re using a dating app and know exactly what you want, it could help to fetch you like-minded dates and who knows if one of them could be The One! So, without any delay let’s get to the point.
Recommended Reading: What’s an OkCupid Boost? Best Time to Use & How to Make the Most Of It
Recommended Reading: OkCupid Incognito Mode & Your OkCupid Privacy Options
How To Have A Conversation On A Dating App (Hint: It’s Not That Hard)
- Ask them a question about a passion of theirs.
- Comment on something specific in their bio.
- Ask them about the best gift they've ever given someone.
- Ask for recommendations of something to watch, read or listen to.
- Ask them about their hobbies and extracurriculars.
- Ask for their opinion on something controversial.
- Find out what type of traveling they love to do.
- Ask them about the worst date they’ve ever been on and what made it so bad.
- Ask them, “What was the last movie you watched because you wanted to cry?”
- Ask them to tell you one thing that happened to them recently that made them feel super-proud and excited like they could take on the world.
- Ask them if they like dogs or cats better and why.
- The other person is probably just as nervous as you are, don't stress!
Ask them a question about a passion of theirs.
Asking a question about something someone is passionate about, or that they might have an interesting answer to, shows your date that you’re interested in them. It also gives you the opportunity to get a good sense of their personality: who they are and how they act when they’re passionate.
And even though the following topic has been beaten to death by the media, there are still many women out there who wonder if asking a guy out on a date is “forward.” While this is an important thing for some people to consider (because some men absolutely don’t want women making the first move), most men won’t mind at all. You just have to know what kind of man you’re dealing with before throwing caution to the wind and pouncing on him at his desk.
Comment on something specific in their bio.
The easiest way to start a conversation with anyone new is to ask a question, so include one. Tailor it to their interests or their work, or even one of their photos. A specific question about something someone will remember with fondness is a lot more interesting to answer than, “How’s your week going? You seem boring.”
Everyone appreciates noticing little things, so mentioning an interest or hobby of theirs that you recognize from their profile is another good way to break the ice. If you’re both doing online dating, chances are he isn’t going to respond well if you ask him how many kids he wants or how much money he makes right away. Instead of asking its usual questions about childhood dreams and regrets, make up your own amusing question to capture his attention (and tell him why it appeals to you). It’s not only effective because it starts a fun conversation but also because it gives them insight into what you think is important for them in a relationship (so make sure it fits who you are and what you want).
Ask them about the best gift they’ve ever given someone.
“What’s the best gift you’ve ever given someone?”
This question is an easy way to get to know someone—and it’s also a great way to suss out how thoughtful your match is. “The ways we give and receive love says a lot about who we are as people,” says Samantha Burns, LMHC, dating coach, and author of Breaking Up & Bouncing Back. “Knowing what kind of gifts your partner enjoys giving and receiving can help you understand the importance of gift-giving in their life.” Plus, it’ll give you an idea of what to get them for their birthday.
Ask for recommendations of something to watch, read or listen to.
Asking why someone does what they do or what their favorite things are is a great way to show you’re interested in them and it also gives them the opportunity to share their passions. When you ask this question, you can also encourage your match to have a more in-depth conversation by asking if they had any trouble getting through the book, or what they love about it. This can then lead to a deeper discussion of the hobby itself, which will help get both of you talking and make it easier for future conversations.
Ask them about their hobbies and extracurriculars.
Ask them about their hobbies and extracurriculars.
Asking someone about their interests is a surefire way to get the ball rolling, so to speak. This allows the person to go on and on about what they enjoy doing, which can lead you to learn more about their personality, discover common interests that might give you something else to chat about, or simply allow you two to compare hobbies and why you like pursuing them in the first place.
Ask for their opinion on something controversial.
Before you ask, no, a platonic question won’t make you seem like you’re just looking for sex.
But an opinion question can help establish what your commonalities are, if they have a weird sense of humor, or they take their opinions very seriously.
It’s also not taking things too seriously to ask something like “Is pineapple on pizza the work of Satan?” or “What do you think about people who use the hashtag #blessed in their Instagram captions?” If these have been subjects that have come upon first dates before (yep), at least you know early on whether it could be a deal-breaker for either of you.
Find out what type of traveling they love to do.
Where they love to travel is often a deal-breaker, especially if you hate the beach and they are all about it. Take this opportunity to get to know them and learn what their interests are. In the future, you can use that information to plan your first trip together. Imagine if you both loved exploring new cities by bicycle and then got to spend an entire weekend discovering a new town in California together. Wouldn’t that be great?
Ask them about the worst date they’ve ever been on and what made it so bad.
The worst date they’ve ever been on and what made it so bad is a great one because it gives you a lot of insight into their expectations. For example, if they tell you about a date where the person was super rude to them, then you know that rudeness is something that they don’t want. Or if someone went on a date where their match had talked about their ex the whole time, then you know mentioning exes isn’t okay in the early stages of dating. It also allows you to learn from those experiences and not make the same mistakes as your dates have made in the past!
Ask them, “What was the last movie you watched because you wanted to cry?”
When someone tells you that their last movie of choice was a straight-up rom-com, you know they’re not afraid to be vulnerable. And when someone tells you that the last film they watched for crying purposes was The Notebook, well, then my friend, you know who to watch out for: They’re someone who craves emotional intimacy and is not afraid of going there!
Ask them to tell you one thing that happened to them recently that made them feel super-proud and excited like they could take on the world.
You can also ask them to tell you one thing that happened to them recently that made them feel super-proud and excited like they could take on the world. This might help get you both in a more carefree mood, which is always helpful for a first meeting. Plus, it’s nice to hear about someone’s achievements. And if nothing else, it’s another topic of conversation to get things rolling.
Ask them if they like dogs or cats better and why.
- Do they have a pet?
- Do they like dogs?
- Do they like cats?
- Why do they like dogs?
- Why do they like cats?
- Do they prefer dogs or cats and why?
The other person is probably just as nervous as you are, don’t stress!
Let’s begin with the fact that you’re already on the right track. The simple fact that you’re putting yourself out there, and participating in this type of dating experience, is a big step. You’ve done it before! You can do it again!
In addition to being brave, you should also be prepared. Although some may disagree, I like to start by getting my questions ready in advance. Having them stored away allows me to relax and focus on what I’d like to say about myself. Being just as nervous as the other person doesn’t help anyone. In contrast, if both parties are well-prepared and relaxed it can actually be fun!
The bottom line
Be yourself. Whatever your intention is for using these apps, whether it’s finding a lover or simply making friends while traveling, make sure your conversations are honest and genuine.
All the best.