Most guys don’t know how to ask a girl to meet up over text. So they keep texting, waiting for her to ‘take the bait and go out with them. That’s not how it works! You need a clear and concrete plan for how you’re going to ask her out. Otherwise, she’ll keep waiting for the perfect moment that never comes.
Asking to hang out over text is the easiest and most convenient way to ask someone out. Texting is a good way of getting your foot in the door, but it’s not a date. You should only ask her to hang out if you have previously had conversations with her and are comfortable texting her.
It’s best to start off by asking some questions about things she likes, just so you can get a sense of what she’s into. If she opens up and starts talking about her favorite food or band, then you can ask her if she’d like to go see them live sometime.
If you ask at the wrong time, then the girl might reject your invitation because she’s not free or isn’t interested in meeting at that moment.
- Here’s an example of how you can get this wrong:
- What is the right way to ask a girl over text to meet?
- Know Her Better
- No 'Much' or 'Very'
- Make It Clear and Direct
- Make Your Motive Clear
- Don't Forget Being Nice and Funny
- Make Sure She's Ready for It
- Don't Be Too Eager to Ask Her Out Again
- Here are some good examples of hooks:
Here’s an example of how you can get this wrong:
Guy: Hey, I went to that new sandwich shop in Lexington last week and it was delicious. I thought of you because you love sandwiches as much as I do. You should try it!
Girl: Thanks, I will! The sandwiches there look amazing on Instagram.
Guy: Yeah, they were great. I’m stuffed now though…
Girl: Me too! I’m so full after lunch!
Guy: Did you have anything good?
This conversation goes on like that forever. The guy is hoping she’ll take the hint and want to go out with him someday soon… but she doesn’t take the hint at all!
When she answers your text, you need to make sure to keep the conversation going strong. You’re not texting back and forth at a comfortable pace for you… you’re trying to build attraction and get her out on a date. So you don’t want the conversation to drag on and on for hours until she gets bored and moves on.
That’s why it’s important not just to keep the conversation going, but also to keep building tension and moving things forward.
The best way to do this is by using a “hook.” A hook is something that grabs her attention and reels her into messaging you more. It makes her want to know more about you.
Learning how to ask a girl to meet up over text is a skill that takes practice. It takes patience, but it’s not hard to do. This is the right way to ask a girl out over text. It will help you get her out on a date.
If you follow these tips, you have no choice but to be successful in asking her out over text.
What is the right way to ask a girl over text to meet?
If you’re the type to ask a girl out over text, there are a few things that you should keep in mind:
- Don’t use slang or casual words like “babe or baby”
- Don’t be rude in your text conversations; make sure to use proper grammar and spelling on purpose, even if you’re a native English speaker (that may not apply to other languages)
- Be clear about what you want: tell her exactly what your intentions are; don’t stall for time by telling her that “I don’t know if I’m ready”. You must show that you’re serious about it and try everything possible to meet up with her
How to Ask a Girl to Meet Over Text | This is the Right Way
Know Her Better
Now that you know what not to do in your texts, it’s time to figure out the best ways to text her and ask her out. With these techniques, you’ll find that it’s easy to ask a girl out over text.
Get to know her first. You can’t just text a girl you’ve never met before and expect her to immediately meet up with you. Don’t be that guy! If you don’t already know who she is, introduce yourself and get to know her before asking her out on a date.
Make the conversation interesting and engaging by asking open-ended questions. Asking something specific about someone or something will encourage him or her to answer with more than a yes or no response, which can keep the conversation going and lead to an opportunity for you to ask him or her for a date! When texting someone new, try asking “So how was your day?” This question gives them the opportunity to share their day with you without feeling like they’re being interrogated.
Don’t be too eager. Texting “What are your plans this weekend?” might make the person feel obligated to answer when he or she would have preferred not to answer at all; this puts pressure on them both physically (because of the constant demand for attention) as well as emotionally (because of having to respond)
No ‘Much’ or ‘Very’
If you want to ask her out via text, think of it as a way to simply start the conversation. You don’t need to get into what day and time you’d like to meet up – not yet.
In fact, if you try and force a date with her at this stage, she may reject it because she doesn’t know who you are yet. The goal here is to get her hooked on talking with you so that she voluntarily gives you her number.
You want her to be excited about meeting up with YOU! Don’t make this about hooking up at all, just say something like: Hey there! It was nice chatting last night 🙂 What’s your schedule looking like over the next few days?
Make It Clear and Direct
Using clear, direct language is essential when asking a girl to meet over text. You’ll want to avoid wishy-washy phrases like, “Maybe we could get together for coffee sometime?” Instead, use phrases like “I want to…” or “We should…”
There are a few reasons this works. First of all, it sounds more confident and not as if you need her permission to spend your own money on a cup of coffee with her. If she senses insecurity in you—even through text—she might be turned off or she might even disappear on you. (If she does disappear on you, that’s OK! It just means the vibe wasn’t right between the two of you.) Secondly, using these phrases makes it easier for her to say yes because they put the question in terms of what SHE wants.
When phrased positively (as in “we should” rather than “should we”), they are effective ways of getting her attention and keeping it focused on you and your date idea. A third reason is that women naturally like it when men take the initiative; so if you ask them out first, they will feel flattered and honored that you did so!
Make Your Motive Clear
To ensure that she knows what your motives are, make sure that you set up a date. If you’re just asking her to hang out, or you’re being very vague about your plans and intentions, then there’s a chance that she’ll think that you don’t want to go anywhere special with her. By being specific, you should be able to get the message across that this is actually a date and not just some casual get-together.
You can ask her to go somewhere with you at a specific time of day as well. Just saying something like “Wanna hang out sometime?” will leave too much room for error in your communication with her. If she agrees without knowing exactly what it is that she’s agreeing to, then you might end up having an awkward first date because of it.
If you still don’t know how to proceed from there, then feel free to check out our guide on the best dating sites and apps available today! Or just keep reading for more advice on mastering the art of asking someone out via text!
Don’t Forget Being Nice and Funny
Being nice and funny is also very important. I don’t think this requires a lot of explanation, but it really does make a difference. Girls want to be around someone who is fun and makes them laugh. A guy that makes jokes or talks about things he finds funny isn’t just more attractive but is actually better company. It’s one thing to be aggressive in getting her attention, but it’s another thing entirely to be an asshole while doing so.
You can know how to ask a girl out over text, have the best jokes ever ready to go, and still fail if you’re not nice and funny. Nobody wants to meet someone who will spend the whole time talking about how much of a loser everyone else is or mocking other people for their choices in life. And you certainly don’t get brownie points for being mean or rude about others!
So please: be polite and kind to others when you talk with her over text!
Make Sure She’s Ready for It
Some guys will feel the urge to ask a girl out when she’s not ready. She may be talking to you, but if she hasn’t made it clear that she wants to move things off of her phone and into the person, do not ask her out. If you can tell that she is just being polite and isn’t really interested in seeing you again, wait until she says something about meeting up before asking her out. When you can tell that a girl is truly into the idea of seeing you in person (and not just saying “yes” because she feels bad), then it’s time to go ahead and ask her out.
Don’t Be Too Eager to Ask Her Out Again
If she replies with a “no” or “maybe,” then it’s okay to ask again at a later date. You can still stay friends and get to know each other better, but you should wait at least a few days before you do this. If she suggests doing something else, like going for coffee or watching a movie together, then go ahead and do that instead. Otherwise, just wait until there’s more time available for the two of you so that she can give you an answer without feeling rushed into it. This will help her feel more comfortable about saying yes!
Here are some good examples of hooks:
Ask an open-ended question that’s interesting. For example: “What were you doing out at 2 am last night?”
Tease her in a lighthearted, good-natured way. For example: “No way! Did they actually let you go home with those cute glasses???”
Make fun of her in a playful way. For example: “So are you one of those girls who takes forever in the bathroom? :)”
Joke around with her in a fun way (this works especially well over text).
The bottom line
Many guys think they need to text a girl every day or multiple times a day. But unless she’s in the middle of texting you back and is on her way over to see you, there’s no real need to be constantly texting her throughout the day.
I know you want to get the ball rolling with her, but you have to take it slow. Don’t be too pushy and call her all the time that’ll just make her run away.
It makes sense if you think about it: If you’re stuck in traffic on your way over to see a girl, do you really want to be sitting there obsessively texting her? No. You want to hang out with her and enjoy your free time together.
So, how often should you text a girl you like? Well, when I first started dating women online, I made one of the biggest mistakes that most guys make – I texted girls all day long. In my opinion, this was because I was afraid of losing them before we even got into the dating stage.