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7 Secret Things to Know Before You Ask a Girl For a Date

Asking a girl for a date is scary, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether you’ve been asked out by a friend of a friend and are asking her on a “blind date,” or if you’d like to ask that special girl in your life out for the first time, there are some things you need to know else you will be rejected.

So, let’s come to reality, you want to ask that cute girl out, right? But what if I told you there are actually a few things you should know before you make your move… Secrets that could help you improve your chances of getting a ‘yes’? 

Well, lucky for you, these secrets exist and they’re waiting for you — if you’re willing to read on. 

7 Secret Things to Know Before You Ask a Girl For a Date

1. why would she say “No” to you

There are various reasons why a woman might turn down your date request. It can be as simple as her having prior commitments, or it can be that she doesn’t want to risk the possibility of rejection by asking you out first. Perhaps, it could also be because she doesn’t find you interesting or attractive enough to date yet.

Or maybe, like most women, they’re just shy. So yeah, whatever the reason is, it all boils down to her being unsure of things and avoiding possible discomfort.

Another reason is that she doesn’t want to date you at the moment or later! 

2. Why she is Not Asking You Out

We’ve seen the movies, we’ve read the dating books and manuals, but we still don’t know how to ask someone out on a date. Why? Because it’s not just about having the right words. It’s also about knowing what is happening in our minds and in other people’s minds as well.

So why is she not asking you out?

They may not want to rush things: Your crush may be taking their time because they want to get to know you better before they ask you out. They may also want to find out if they both have the same interests or goals in life.

They may not want to risk being rejected: Your crush never knows how you feel until you tell them so directly or indirectly, so don’t assume anything here and let your crush know that you’re interested too.

They have no idea if you like them too: Don’t play games with your crush! You can use subtle hints such as touching their arms when talking or brushing up against them accidentally when walking by them or be more direct and tell them how much you enjoy spending time with them. Either way, avoid any ambiguity as much as possible so there is no confusion as to whether or not they should ask you out on a date!

3. Do You Make her Feel Safe

You might be wondering, how can I make someone feel safe? There are a few ways to do this.

Simply ask the person what makes her feel safe. He or she will appreciate that you asked and will probably have a good idea of what doesn’t make him or her feel safe either. For example, if she says something like asking them out in front of a group of people or petting their head without permission, then don’t do those things.

If she is someone that you are close to and has never felt unsafe before, then chances are good that she will feel comfortable enough with you to tell you how they want to be approached.

Find out if they prefer being asked out during the day when there may be more witnesses around, rather than late at night in an empty parking lot. If she is not open about these preferences yet, then consider changing your approach based on your experience with the person so far. This will ensure a positive response from her and keep things moving forward in a positive direction for everyone involved!

4. What does she want in a person

A little-known fact is that a certain amount of time and effort should be invested in the process of getting to know a girl before you ask her out. This will give you an idea of what she’s interested in, and ultimately, whether or not she would make a good mate for you. So what should you ask her about?

You can start by asking her about the qualities that are most important to her in a person. For example, do they like someone who is smart? Or tall? Or funny? And how important is it to them that their partner has these qualities? It may also be helpful to find out what their “type” is. Are they attracted to people who share their interests? What do they find attractive in other people? Do they have a list of things that they’re looking for in their ideal partner and if so, does this list include things like height and weight requirements or religious beliefs? If so—this could be an indication that this person is not right for you!

5. Is she having a crush on you

The signs a girl likes you can be obvious or subtle. Sometimes, the signs are easy to distinguish, but in other cases, you may need some more time to figure out if she’s interested in you. If a girl has a crush on you and is playing hard to get, then she may agree to go on a few dates but then act super busy when it comes time for the actual date. 

And if you’re not sure whether or not a girl has a crush on you, here are some clear signs that can help you figure it out.

1. She always smiles at you

2. She asks questions about you

3. She stares at your lips

4. She posts photos of her food on social media

5. She laughs at everything you say

6. She makes excuses to hang out with you

7. She invites you over when she’s alone

8. She teases you or plays with her hair while talking to you

6. Do you interest her?

Here are some ways to tell if a girl is interested in you:

  • She smiles at you. A lot. When she talks to you and when she sees you in the room. This includes genuine and not-so-genuine grins, as well as giggles and laughs.
  • Her tone of voice changes around you—it’s softer, or it sounds like she’s flirting with you (teasing, making silly jokes).
  • She maintains eye contact with you.
  • She touches your arm or shoulder when she talks to you—and she doesn’t do this with anyone else in the room.
  • She’s taken a particular interest in your life—she asks questions about what schools or jobs your friends have been offered, who likes whom at school, and what they want most out of life. You know that kind of thing.

7. Does she feel safe with you?

We tell a lot about our personality and how we feel without words. Eye contact, body position or posture, hand gestures, open arms, or folded arms are the most important non-verbal signals.

In the dating game, it is really important to be able to read other people’s feelings. If you can manage that, then you’ll know best when it is appropriate for you to ask your dream girl/boy out on a date! 

Women don’t like guys with too much confidence because they think that they aren’t confident when talking to them so they feel overpowered by their personalities. Women love guys who are confident yet not overconfident because it makes them feel safe in knowing that he doesn’t have any problems talking to women in general. 

Most importantly make sure that she is comfortable with your presence and feels safe in your company before asking her out

A little preparation can go a long way when asking a girl out on a date.

After being on the other side of the table, now we’re here to share our tips for asking a girl out.

  • Pick a time and place that are both convenient to both of you and open to her.
  • A little preparation can go a long way when asking a girl out.
  • Make sure you’ve dressed appropriately, whether it’s in your casual clothes or something nicer.
  • Get to know the other person before you ask them out. This goes beyond just having an interest in them and knowing their name. Every person has strengths and interests that are important if you’re going to spend time with them—and they’ll appreciate it if they see those interests reflected in how you approached them.
  • Avoid distractions. When she’s not engaged in conversation, she’ll have time to be thinking about something else—and that can lessen your chances of getting her attention again! So make sure things are interesting enough for her so she doesn’t go anywhere else, like Facebook or Instagram.

If you ask for a date and she says no, don’t worry about it. If you feel like you have to ask her again, do it. But she might still say no.

So what’s the point of asking again? Well, there are three possible outcomes:

1. She says yes.

2. She says no and you feel like crap.

3. She says no and you don’t care that much anyway.

There is only one bad outcome on that list and it’s not the one many people expect it to be – being rejected when you ask for a second date is not as bad as being rejected the first time around (and sometimes it can even lead to a date).

At the end of the day, what it really means is that you are a stranger to her and she has no reason to trust you. 

Imagine that this girl has just met you in real life or on a dating website. The first thing she wants to know is whether you are safe to date. You could be a serial killer, or worse!

Now, the typical way people get to know each other is by talking to each other and getting to “know” each other better. The more they talk, the more they understand each other’s personality, interests, likes and dislikes… etc.

But there is a problem here — if she doesn’t feel comfortable enough with you, she will not want to talk with you at all! So how do you overcome her initial resistance? You simply make her feel comfortable enough so that she wants to get to know you better.

If you try hard enough, I’m sure there will be some girls that don’t mind talking with a stranger. But for those who don’t like doing so, I suggest that you start by leaving them alone for a while, then slowly approach them again as time goes by.

The bottom line

Don’t play games with your date! You can use subtle hints such as touching their arms when talking or brushing up against them accidentally when walking by them or be more direct and tell them how much you enjoy spending time with them. Either way, avoid any ambiguity as much as possible so there is no confusion as to whether or not they should ask you out on a date or accept dating you!

About the Author

Sasha Aun
Sasha Aun
Hi, I am Sasha, a professional relationship expert, and a blogger. At Datinghelpguide, I write tips to create an attractive dating profile and guides on managing dating profiles on multiple apps.